We laid low last night and watched a movie but I somehow ended up back out at 1am - messed up with Dave and Johnny watching Mars Attacks. Fucking hilarious. You probably had to be there and under the influence with us but, Johnny was pretending he was like a bartender when he was getting me and Dave water and he was saying (with some awful fake accent), "water, right? I knew you wanted water... I've been reading you two up and down since you got in here... don't worry about a thing." hahaha - it was great. Can't wait to keep this up for the next month and a half...

no time to think of consequences

So I haven't been keeping up but I'm sure that I will have a lot more to say sometime between Dave coming home tomorrow and everyone else's arrival later in the week. This semester went by pretty fast but I can't say with sincerity that it feels like only yesterday that I was saying goodbye to everyone who was going back to school. Summer really feels like it was months ago and like a lot has happened since then - but I remember that when everyone was leaving I was reading Kerouac and I stopped at this quote for a long time: "What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?- it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies." I felt hopeful but mostly really fucking sad to not have my best friends around for a couple months. Luckily, this semester changed the way college has been for me and I had a really great time - but I am thrilled that this time tomorrow night that quote won't mean anything because there won't be any goodbyes for at least a few weeks. I know that I have two papers due on Thursday and three finals to take this week - but the winter break madness has set in and I don't care about history or papers - all I want to do is hang out - enjoying the company of the best of friends (and the cheapest of beers) - and it's all so close... It has basically become a tradition that I drink before finals and then take them hungover, feeling like shit but never actually regretting my choices, so why break that now? So wish me luck, cause I've got work at 8:30 am and my biggest final, both on Tuesday, and I bet me and Dave will be out tomorrow night and making questionable decisions...

vaguely hungover but mostly exhausted

I'm shot - but this weekend was worth it. We had a tough loss on Saturday - but at least we made it to Nationals. Out of 50 something teams we're still 4th on the east coast in our division, and I'm happy with that. We had a great season - a lot of great times with the team from karaoke nights to drink ups - I can't believe I'm finally enjoying college haha. The game was really hard - MIT played so well... it felt impossible to keep up with their backs but we played our hearts out and I guess that's all we can do. On the bright side, the loss meant that we did not have to play a game today, so we were able to hotel party.

I don't know how we didn't get kicked out of the hotel last night. We were loud, we were drinking, we were in and out of rooms, we literally emptied the ice machine on every floor to fill the bathtubs of 3 rooms up with ice for the 5 thirty racks that we bought... and we completely got away with it.

It's hard to explain the weekend - or to try to remember specific moments that made it so great. I just know that while it was happening I felt like I was consciously aware of how this will be something that I will always remember.

i really need to start doing work now

But I can't stop reading over my favorite parts of Jonathan Safran Foer's novels...

"I want an infinitely blank book and the rest of time... why didn't I learn to treat everything like it was the last time, my greatest regret is how much I believed in the future." "He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad."

these streets will make you feel brand new

All I have to say about this past weekend is that I hope me and Dave never decide to start drinking on our 8:52am train into Manhattan - and finish drinking at a bar in midtown at 1am (I think it was 1, but who remembers... probably no one who was there) - which we somehow accomplished with no breaks, pauses, or naps in between. When I woke up on Saturday morning I literally thought I was going to die. What a great time, though. Even with the hangover, I can't say that I would take back that Friday for anything - good friends, music, and drinks all day long - with a perfect view of the city...

keg stands, rugby, drink ups, and mid-terms

So I'm slacking on updating this thing -

The weekend of the 23rd... two weeks ago? I went to Lehigh with Kaila and had SO MUCH FUN. We took a bus Friday at noon and got to Lehigh at about 2:30 I think? It was great to see Erica and her school was really nice - we started drinking at 3:30 I think... something like that - and I think we drank for almost 12 hours. Good decisions were made, bad decisions were made: Erica remembers none of it, hahaha. Just kidding (half kidding). We started the night with a 4 person game of "fuck you," where we all got tipsy - Er got a little drunk, haha. Then we went to a BYOB sushi place - great sushi, plus we knocked off 3 bottles of champagne between the four of us... and we weren't there that long. After that it was back to Er and Amy's to funnel before heading to a highlighter party. I woke up Saturday morning with my white highlighted t-shirt that said "lauren <3's PKE and (picture of dick)" and some kid's phone number - and some other nonsense. Ridiculous.

I got home on Saturday and spent the night in the city - got home wayyyyyyyy too late so I was late to rugby on Sunday - but I made it with plenty of time to play and we crushed Sacred Heart. They have this obnoxious chant about having "heart" and there was my coach on the sidelines screaming at us "Go Take Their Heart." hahhahaha love it.

This past weekend I celebrated halloween on Friday at Mchebe's for happy hour - the team went dressed as ruggers and we all had an awesome time together. I didn't go out for Halloween on Saturday with the division championship game on Sunday - but it was worth it because WE WON the division - and get to go to Nationals in New Jersey the weekend of the 20th. I Am So Excited. Fairfield treated us to a nice drink up the first time we played them this season - but the game was definitely hostile, haha. We both wanted it really bad - I'm just glad that we took it.

THIS WEEK IS KILLING ME. I had a mid-term today in Am Lit - my fucking subject - and I'm pretty sure I bombed it. I don't know what's up with me in that class I feel like I'm screwing it up. I'll get it back... but I have another mid-term tomorrow for prof. Levy and his tests are tough. Ugh. Not to mention the three papers due on Monday. WHY?

This time of the year makes me so ready for Thanksgiving break - it's only a few days but I NEED to see everyone from home (won't be the same without Eileen and Liz of course).

Can't wait for a break and for some good Massapequa fun...

jesus can't play rugby cause he didn't pay his dues

Thank god that Natalie sent a text this morning that said, "Dress warm girls! It's gross out but we're pretty bad-ass so get ready to kick ass and get muddy. See you in 30." This small gesture managed to get me out of my bed this morning (where I was laying while thinking up excuses that would get me out of the game) - so I headed to pick up Erin. She greeted me in her usual fashion:
Needless to say, she wasn't ready when I got there - actually, she was still a little drunk. But we made it to the game and kicked some ass...

The temperature never got above 40 but it felt much colder with the wind and rain - MUCH colder. The pictures really don't show just how freezing and wet it was. We were soaked - head to toe - every tackle landed us in huge puddles. We had a ton of fun though... I don't know how but we really had a sick time getting muddy and scoring tries. We won 44-10 and are pumped for semis next weekend... I love this sport:

Mid-lift in some really attractive spandex

Mud all over my face and just all around looking gross...

and it's all for you go-ring...our number 8 forever.

WHO SMOKED POT BEFORE COMING TO CLASS TODAY?

IF I ever make it to grad school - I can't wait to take classes that I care about. Aside from my American Fiction class - I honestly have no interest in anything I'm learning this semester. My African American History class is good because the professor is one of my favorites, but there is so much reading - I'm just barely keeping up. I feel anxious lately - like I can't wait to do something that matters to me! I know I will eventuallyyyyy.

Speaking of things that matter.... this past weekend was homecoming, which - as always - was a complete disaster (the good kind). We managed to make it to the football game but never past the parking lot. Why watch the homecoming game when you can tailgate all afternoon? I had so much fun but I really wish that I remembered the day with more clarity, haha. I feel like every time I start drinking with the rugby girls before noon - I'm asking for it... I think we even publicly sang rugby songs in front of non rugby players who probably thought we were insane. I think this picture sums it up (which is ridiculous because this picture was taken at the end of our pre-game - so we hadn't even begun to tailgate at this point):
I also want to mention that in my Am Fiction class - instead of responding to attendance by saying, "here," my Prof gives the class a question that we have to answer. Yesterday it was "what is one of your biggest pet peeves?" One kid in the class who, I guess, was pretty obviously high - literally could not answer the question. He just kept saying, "uhh, umm, it's like uhh, damn I can't remember." To which my professor responded, "Alright, new question: who smoked pot before coming to class today?" I have never laughed so hard in my life.

THE RADIO LEADS A FEEL GOOD REVOLUTION... CIGARETTES AND MY CLOSEST FRIENDS - I TELL MYSELF THAT I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS

Last night I was procrastinating a paper on Marlowe's play, Tamburlaine, by skimming through books that I have already read (this is my favorite way to procrastinate). I picked up Maybe a Miracle - which I haven't read in such a long time - and I opened up to a quote where the main character is talking about parents and he says, "Don't they remember what it was like to be young? Or is that what it means to be an adult -- you forget? And, sadly, the more they forget, the more they try to recapture what they had. It doesn't really give you much to look forward to."

I know the quote sounds hopeless... but the point is that it doesn't have to be. We don't have to forget. So that's the purpose this thing - just something I'm starting to help me remember when I need to.

(By the way, Dr. Hilarious is a character in Pynchon's The Crying of Lot 49)